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Down a Dark Abby
The
Culture and Media Institute’s analysis of Dear Abby’s 2007 columns reveals that
the world’s leading advice columnist cannot be trusted to promote traditional
sexual morality – but she can betrusted to promote moral relativism.
Executive
Summary
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Jeanne
Phillips, the current writer of the “Dear Abby” column, is the leading
authority figure among advice columnists. Her column runs in 1,400
newspapers worldwide and reaches 110 million readers daily -- nearly three
times the daily news viewers of ABC, CBS and NBC combined.
Phillips enjoys
a tremendous platform to promote her beliefs on everything from wedding
etiquette to handling the crazy uncle in the attic.
The “Dear Abby”
column has a reputation for dispensing solid, homespun wisdom, so most
people assume Abby is a trustworthy source of traditional advice on all
topics. However, a Culture and Media Institute analysis of Dear Abby
columns from 2007 reveals that 30 percent of her columns address the topic
of sex, and in 53 percent of those columns, Abby takes a distinctly
non-traditional approach toward moral questions. Many of Abby’s columns on
sex could have been written by Dr. Ruth.
As many as 20
million of Abby’s readers are under the age of 18. Millions of young men
and women are forming their views on sex and relationships under the
influence of a libertine advice columnist who is advancing anything but
traditional values.
Major findings:
- 30 percent
of Dear Abby’s 2007 columns deal with sex.
That’s 108 out of the 365 columns.
- 53 percent
of Dear Abby’s 2007 sex columns reject traditional morality –
the view that sex should be limited to marriages of one man and one woman.
- Abby does
not encourage unmarried adults to abstain from sex.
Fifty-four columns address sex between unmarried adults, and only one column
suggests that sex should be preceded by marriage. Abby’s advice to a woman
who wanted to take a “friends with benefits” relationship (a sexual
relationship between uncommitted friends) to a more meaningful level was to
“stop asking for a commitment, and fill the time you’re not with him with
friends – and other dates should you meet someone you ‘click’ with.” Abby
did not tell the reader to cut off the “benefits.” One column even accepted
sex between cousins.
- Abby almost
never finds adultery to be wrong.
Thirty-six columns address infidelity. In only ten of these columns does
Abby suggest breaking off an affair, or not getting into an affair in the
first place. Only once does Abby flatly state that an affair is “wrong.”
At times Abby appears to condone adultery, even homosexual adultery.
“Confused in Illinois” wrote Abby that she had no interest in intimate
relations with her husband, but she is now involved in a “passionate sexual
relationship” with a female friend. Abby told her to “look at the bright
side. At least you now finally understand what has been missing [in her
marriage].”
- Abby fails
to tell sexually active teens to stop having sex.
Twelve columns address teen sex, and Abby’s greatest concerns are avoiding
sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy. Only three columns on teen sex
suggest abstinence, and that was only for teens who were not yet sexually
active. Her advice to a girl whose 12-year-old friend had engaged in sex
was: “She needs to be seen by a doctor because she has become sexually
active.” Abby told another reader, “Sex before marriage may be ‘wrong,’ but
if my mail is any indication, it’s happening….” Abby is an advice
columnist. She’s the one person who should never condone harmful, immoral
behavior simply because it’s commonplace.
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Homosexuality is perfectly acceptable to Abby.
Ten of Abby’s 108 sex columns address homosexuality, and Abby never says
homosexual behavior is morally wrong. Instead, she treats it as normal and
ignores the well-documented, associated health risks. In one column,
“Distressed Aunt” wrote to Abby asking whether she should “out” her nephew
to his parents after finding an online profile that listed his sexual
orientation as “bi.” Abby told her, “If your nephew were engaging in
self-destructive behavior, I would say tell his parents. However,
identifying one’s sexual orientation doesn’t fall into that category.” On
October 10, 2007 the Associated Press reported that Abby endorsed same-sex
“marriage.”
- Abby adopts
a permissive attitude toward a variety of odd sexual behaviors.
Twenty of Abby’s sex columns address topics such as stripping, nudism and
cross-dressing. Abby told a woman struggling to understand her significant
other’s desire to dress in women’s clothing that it’s a “quirk,” and, “If I
really cared about him, I think I’d ask to spend some time with his ‘other
self.’ Then I‘d make up my mind about whether I could accept the
situation.”
Conclusion
As evidenced by her
massive audience, Dear Abby is regarded widely as a reliable authority on life’s
dilemmas. Yet her columns on sex reflect an unwillingness to support
traditional, common-sense moral values that steer people away from destructive
behavior and protect them from harmful situations. Dear Abby’s advice on sexual
matters cannot be trusted.
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